I'm not exactly complete right now.

I'm going to start this off by stating one thing: I am sort of, maybe slightly, quite possibly the most contradictory person you will ever meet. Although I sometimes feel like a hypocrite, I absolutely believe in my opinions and thoughts about things...at the time. As time passes, my opinions change, and I forget how I felt before. 

This results in problems.

Feelings come in spurts, and things that I once loved become things that I hate. This being said, I commit myself to things that I love...how ever quickly that love may fade. 

Now to get to the point...someone I admired beyond measure, someone that captured my heart and soul, and someone that was just good passed away. I'm not sure I can describe how it feels to lose someone like that. 

First love? Maybe. Not for him, not at all...but I think some part of me loved him like fire...I felt it so deeply that it burned, and it burned clean. Everything I knew before about what love should be like disappeared, and he filled my heart with poetic words of wisdom. I don't think that I will ever feel that way for someone again...I can only hope to find someone with half of his worth. 

We leave the way we came...alone and with nothing. However, I think he left with something. He left with a part of me that I won't ever get back...even if I could get it back, I wouldn't want it.

He took my fear, my self loathing, my doubts, and my barriers with him.

Now that he's gone, I feel things fully. I wish I could have told him how much he did for me...

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